I was having a conversation with my husband Trevor this morning when he used the old adage of ‘If it is to be, It is up to me’. I haven’t heard that one in quite a while I must admit, and it set me to thinking, some thing quite honestly that isn’t hard to do. My mind has the capacity to take a word or a subject and ‘harry’ it like an dog with a bone.
So how often do we not do some thing because it goes into the ‘too hard basket’, or gets put to one side for ‘later’ or ‘another day’.? Is that laziness or disinterest, or even not enough time? I think not, I believe in many ways that it comes back to a simple four letter word which is FEAR.
If we take some information on Word History from Dictionary.com Unabridged, Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.We find some interesting words which fit around fear, however it is the last sentence ‘Fear is first recorded in Middle English with the sense “emotion of fear” in a work composed around 1290′ that introduces Fear as an emotion.
‘Word History: Old English fǣr, the ancestor of our word fear, meant “calamity, disaster,” but not the emotion engendered by such an event. This is in line with the meaning of the prehistoric Common Germanic word *fēraz, “danger,” which is the source of words with similar senses in other Germanic languages, such as Old Saxon and Old High German fār, “ambush, danger,” and Old Icelandic fār, “treachery, damage.” Scholars have determined the form and meaning of Germanic *fēraz by working backward from the forms and the meanings of its descendants. The most important cause of the change of meaning in the word fear was probably the existence in Old English of the related verb fǣran, which meant “to terrify, take by surprise.” Fear is first recorded in Middle English with the sense “emotion of fear” in a work composed around 1290.’
So how does ‘Fear’ stop us from moving forward or achieving what we want/ need/ desire to do? I am sure most people have heard the description of Fear as ‘False Emotion Appearing Real’ and as a description that weighs in as a 3/10 or three out of ten for me, with 0 or zero being the lowest and 10 or ten being the optimal result, so not of a great value, yet many practitioners and the general public quote it all the time.
So what is Fear? I believe it is an emotional response to a known or unknown trigger or factor in our lives. It may be felt consciously, as in we are aware of it, or it may well be a subconscious memory from our ancestors which surfaces ‘basically uninvited’ and then has a ruling or possibly a detrimental effect on our lives.
So if we look at some types of fear, and there are many, they can be categorized into different brackets, eg personal fears, group fears, family of origin fears, learned responses, irrational fears, and so on.
I have a number that I openly own up to or admit, fear of heights, fear of water, my husband generally jokes about it not having soap in in in reference to my British heritage, fear of spiders, and fear of winding roads.
So how have I dealt with them over the years? Allowing that if it is to be it is up to me?
I have little by little worked with my fear of heights by climbing ladders, living in a two story house with stairs, looking out of high rise windows and so on, It doesnt mean that I like heights, just that I do not allow it to rule my life.
Water, well my early fears of water around aged nine were a large swimming pool in Uganda where as a child with difficulties walking I was taken for some what would now be described as “Hydrotherapy’ exercises on a daily basis, and I would walk or hobble around that pristine pool with the sun shining on it and I would be convinced that there was ‘something’ in the water that I couldnt see, and point blank refuse to get into it. Much bribery from my Mother resulted in my learning the very basics of swimming over the years and yet even now I cannot put my face in the water.
I have improved from being breathless and with a pain in my chest from one lap across [not down the length of a pool] some twenty years ago to being able to do the equivalent of ten laps across the pool just recently.
That included with the exception of one disastrous attempt some eight years ago of some one attempting to teach me to snorkel at Bondi in Sydney which got as far as the mask clinging to my face. NO pool use at all for twenty years by the way, other than some brief hydrotherapy sessions, until my husband convinced me to go into the sea at Kurnell in Sydney last year. Since moving to Queensland and having a pool off the decking I have ‘played’ in the water rather than tried to swim, and for the first time in my life managed to float. Do I like it? Lets say I tolerate it, and use it as a way to cool down, a swimmer I doubt that I will ever be.
My fear of spiders is an ancient memory, locked deep within my cells, and much work has ensued to release those fears, I can now be in the same vicinity as a large spider without having a ‘melt down’ however it or I will need to leave the area ‘post haste’.
My fear of winding roads I needed to conquer some years ago when driving to spend Christmas with a dear friend who lives at Buxton in the Black Ranges of Victoria, just a few short kilometers from where the disastrous bush fires that have destroyed Marysville and much of the surrounding areas in the last few weeks.
Having driven up the highway to Healsville, I gaily kept driving through the Mystic Mountains until the road became narrower, more and more windy, the trees taller and the sheer drops steeper, and my breathing harsh and rasping as I fought my fear. There seriously is NO WHERE to turn around on that narrow two lane road, and if there had of been I would have been long gone back the way I came.
Arriving at Margaret’s I assured her it was only my love for her which had kept me going that twenty or so kilometers of the road from hell as I saw it. Since then I have driven the same road many times, always with a healthy respect for its turns and drops, and amazed at the speeding traffic, motor bikes which zip in and out around the cars, and especially at the fact that there are not more accidents on that stretch of road. Do I like that road NO, however I have conquered enough of my fear to allow me to travel it as it is the shorter route to visit my friend.
Having worked with Hypnosis for years I am well aware of the levels that fears can exist on, and I have in some early instances used self hypnosis techniques on myself, however the main results appear to have come from my own determination of ‘If it is going to be it is up to Me’. It has been MY decision that some thing needed to be done or need to change that has allowed me to move forward. Otherwise I would still be sitting in the same fears, on a deeper level of course.
So whether you choose to work on your own fears, seek the help of a qualified practitioner, or stay stuck in them is purely and simply up to you.
Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life, and it only takes one step or one decision to move forwards.
Truly the ‘If it is to be, It is up to Me’ holds true in this instance.
Peace Love and Light
Sheila
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Peace Love and Light
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